Following Sound to Enter the Heart

by Oren Shai

One evening short time ago, I lay in savasana at the end of a vigorous asana practice. At the time I had often been meeting difficulty transitioning into the release at the closing portion of practice. So I made an extra effort to get comfortable and to let go of all movement and thought. I took a deep inhale, and a long, slow exhale as I drew my attention to my third eye center.

I was suddenly enveloped by the sound emanating from the speakers in the room. Four Sanskrit words were being repeated over and over again. Initially and briefly, I saw the words in my mind as they were sung: lokah samastah sukhino bhavantu. The written words suddenly dissolved, and a visual of my beating heart appeared vividly in my mind's eye. As the entire gross body lay on the ground, the vibration embraced one glistening organ in my chest. My heart was being massaged by the energy of those words, which were no longer words but simply loving vibration. The feeling of peace and freedom and joy grew as the flesh of my heart was lovingly held. The feeling gently and gradually dissipated, but not before being transported by the blood moving through my heart to the entirety of the body.

This experience was one of a handful of recent occurrences which opened my mind and heart to the power of sound. I have joined in kirtan a handful of times, and have enjoyed it. I wish to understand it better, and to internalize its power. I hope to learn about kirtan so as to spark my receptivity to connection with the divine--with the true self.

Though the outward expression of my inward journey began only a few years ago, I have always felt the pull to connect with a deeper version of my self. From the time I was a child I was instinctively and intensely introspective. I had a reputation for being quiet, observant, thoughtful. There was and is still an ever-present feeling that there is something inside which is so vast and so important to meet; a force which animates what I know to be 'me' and propels the combination of energy which precipitates my perception of--and interaction with--the material. I look forward to sharing my continued journey with the Bhakti Center community through shared music and devotion.

Kirtan dasi

by Aygul 

Kirtan. Leader. Kirtan leader.

I've been pondering upon what it really means to me...

It's more than just sitting behind the instrument and having others repeat the sweet Holy names of the Lord. It's about merging in sound ecstasy with other spirit souls and ultimately experiencing a more profound and divine connection with God. It's about love. It's about service. Service to all of creation. Service to Krishna. It's about sharing that unlimited and sweet love with the community and the whole world.

We often do not realize in what ways we might be affecting other people. This reminds me of a true story I once heard about a man, who wanted to end his life. He was on his way home and had an exact plan on how he was going to put an end to his physical existence in this world. As he was about to cross the street, the traffic light turned red. He automatically looked at the car that was closest to the crosswalk. A lady that was driving the car smiled at him very warmly and with a soft gesture showed him to pass. Something happened in that moment. Her smile was so gentle and powerful at the same time, so full of love, that he realized how meaningless his intention to end his life was. There was something so genuinely beautiful in that smile, that was worth living for. He never saw her again and she will probably never know that her smile saved the man's life. Those few seconds were enough to flip his world upside down. If a single smile could change the world of this man, only imagine what the Holy name is capable of!

Spreading the all-powerful nectar of the Holy name is a great responsibility and a wonderful opportunity all in one. Although I've been singing in front of people my whole life, I've never been able to fully overcome the anxiety that comes with it. I think leading kirtan will help shift the focus from myself to Krishna, keeping in mind, that the main reason I'm doing it is to serve, by taking the humble role of a kirtan dasi.