Whirling Dervish

by Jyoti

The rain had cleared from the evening before leaving the air crisp as my husband and I headed for the last day of the retreat at Gita Nagari Farm. Lectures were scarce that morning. The mood was replaced with celebration.

HH Radhanath Swami, along with monks and devotees, started in the middle of the room singing praises to Krishna. Kartals, mridanga drums and voices swelled in call and response as the wax figure of the beloved, Srila Prabhupada, looked on.

Women on one side, men on the other, yet this was in no shape or form like my time at the temple my husband and I attended. Faces were not stoic or tempered. They were swelling with joy as the mantras filled the room. The men not only danced alone or in circles, but the women clasped hands in small groups of 6 or more. One woman waived me into one such circle. We circled around and moved forward and back with the usual dance steps. Right foot forward, left foot forward. Left foot back. Right foot back.

Each woman in our group moved to the middle for a turn at dancing, almost wildly. Their souls were freed by chanting "Hare Krishna" in unison and their bodies let go of all fear, all reservation, and matched the joyous mood. Soon, I too was guided into the middle, turning round and round as I bounced off the floor in the middle of the women, almost in a whirling dervish. I stopped when I felt I had consumed too much time and despite feeling like I would fall over from dizziness, the women clasped my hands keeping me upright.

Maharaj jumped up and down in his saffron robe in delight singing, "Hare Krishna. Hare Krishna. Krishna Krishna. Hare Hare. Hare Rama. Hare Rama. Rama Rama. Hare Hare."

His face lit up like a young child playing a game for the first time, intoxicated by chanting the holy name. His humble demeanor was replaced with exultation. We all became devotees without barriers. We embraced childlike enthusiasm and exuded the innocence born from love and freedom. As Srila Prabhupada said, "and thus this sound vibration surpasses all lower strata of consciousness - namely sensual, mental and intellectual."

Aarti made its way around the room, and we all scooped up the heat of light to our heads. A little girl with a perfumed flower came over to us to smell the sweetness of it.

How long we stayed in this ecstatic state, chanting the Maha mantra and other mantras, is unknown. In the space of kirtan, there is no time. There was only the scent of the sweet flower. The heat of the candles. The sound of the Lord's name. The love blooming from each heart. And the sound of the sweet Lord's name.

Becoming Available to Grace

by Vanessa Ruedeman

~When the rain clouds come, take shelter in Krishna~

My name is Vanessa, born and raised in Long Island New York. I came to my first kirtan 2 years ago, not knowing exactly what it was, but still knowing I just had to be there. Life had taken many turns up to that point in my life, and it seemed I was destined to suffer every heartbreak childhood had to offer. I had lost my mother, my family, and my home by the age of 12 and spent the decades of my 20s trying to fill the missing pieces of my heart with all the unhealthy things one tries to fill it with before turning to yoga, and eventually and unbeknownst to me at the time, to God.

One day I had one breakup too many, and just like that my heart cracked into pieces. It wasn’t the breakup or the person who left me specifically, but the last drop in that proverbial bucket that had been waiting to tip over. It felt like falling into an endless pit of despair, a perpetual Alice hurtling down the looking glass, with no respite or end in sight. Realizing how much my emotional well-being seemed to be wrapped up into many aspects of material life I started asking myself, “Is there something more?”.

Enter my first Kirtan at the Bhakti Center. I sat in the most beautiful room I’ve ever seen, so neatly kept, with so many gorgeous and mysterious paintings around me. Comforted by the mere presence of other people around me, I sat on my cushion on the floor and wept openly. I let out all the pain from my heart and channeled it into something called the Maha Mantra. When I made my way home, my heart was still broken, but something miraculous was already starting to happen…. I felt the warm sensation of comfort starting to trickle its way back into my heart. In the two years that followed, I had begun an incredible journey into the world of Bhakti yoga. Kirtan has become such a central part of my practice, because it literally is a direct connection to God.

Kirtan is so many things. It’s an opportunity to connect with the divine, it’s a prayer, a mantra. It’s total surrender and a humble request to always be the Lord’s servant. It's a mood. It’s a physical manifestation of what’s in our hearts through the form of divine sound vibration. It's everything that the mind cannot even express. It’s crying out as loud as we can like a child crying for its mother, and knowing that no matter what, we’re never alone and always have a place we can call home.

As far as what I hope to gain, I can only hope that I'm able to take full advantage of every day and all its opportunities to love and serve the Lord.  And to cleanse my own heart from what I believe is the root of most human suffering: the illusion of separateness, from each other and from Krishna. I pray that I am in tune with his love and grace, and that I’m able to serve in return. I pray to remember to have gratitude for that painful day when my heart cracked open as the biggest blessing of my life.  It was through that suffering that I had found Krishna, and started to become available to his Grace.
Hare Krishna

Following Sound to Enter the Heart

by Oren Shai

One evening short time ago, I lay in savasana at the end of a vigorous asana practice. At the time I had often been meeting difficulty transitioning into the release at the closing portion of practice. So I made an extra effort to get comfortable and to let go of all movement and thought. I took a deep inhale, and a long, slow exhale as I drew my attention to my third eye center.

I was suddenly enveloped by the sound emanating from the speakers in the room. Four Sanskrit words were being repeated over and over again. Initially and briefly, I saw the words in my mind as they were sung: lokah samastah sukhino bhavantu. The written words suddenly dissolved, and a visual of my beating heart appeared vividly in my mind's eye. As the entire gross body lay on the ground, the vibration embraced one glistening organ in my chest. My heart was being massaged by the energy of those words, which were no longer words but simply loving vibration. The feeling of peace and freedom and joy grew as the flesh of my heart was lovingly held. The feeling gently and gradually dissipated, but not before being transported by the blood moving through my heart to the entirety of the body.

This experience was one of a handful of recent occurrences which opened my mind and heart to the power of sound. I have joined in kirtan a handful of times, and have enjoyed it. I wish to understand it better, and to internalize its power. I hope to learn about kirtan so as to spark my receptivity to connection with the divine--with the true self.

Though the outward expression of my inward journey began only a few years ago, I have always felt the pull to connect with a deeper version of my self. From the time I was a child I was instinctively and intensely introspective. I had a reputation for being quiet, observant, thoughtful. There was and is still an ever-present feeling that there is something inside which is so vast and so important to meet; a force which animates what I know to be 'me' and propels the combination of energy which precipitates my perception of--and interaction with--the material. I look forward to sharing my continued journey with the Bhakti Center community through shared music and devotion.

Kirtan dasi

by Aygul 

Kirtan. Leader. Kirtan leader.

I've been pondering upon what it really means to me...

It's more than just sitting behind the instrument and having others repeat the sweet Holy names of the Lord. It's about merging in sound ecstasy with other spirit souls and ultimately experiencing a more profound and divine connection with God. It's about love. It's about service. Service to all of creation. Service to Krishna. It's about sharing that unlimited and sweet love with the community and the whole world.

We often do not realize in what ways we might be affecting other people. This reminds me of a true story I once heard about a man, who wanted to end his life. He was on his way home and had an exact plan on how he was going to put an end to his physical existence in this world. As he was about to cross the street, the traffic light turned red. He automatically looked at the car that was closest to the crosswalk. A lady that was driving the car smiled at him very warmly and with a soft gesture showed him to pass. Something happened in that moment. Her smile was so gentle and powerful at the same time, so full of love, that he realized how meaningless his intention to end his life was. There was something so genuinely beautiful in that smile, that was worth living for. He never saw her again and she will probably never know that her smile saved the man's life. Those few seconds were enough to flip his world upside down. If a single smile could change the world of this man, only imagine what the Holy name is capable of!

Spreading the all-powerful nectar of the Holy name is a great responsibility and a wonderful opportunity all in one. Although I've been singing in front of people my whole life, I've never been able to fully overcome the anxiety that comes with it. I think leading kirtan will help shift the focus from myself to Krishna, keeping in mind, that the main reason I'm doing it is to serve, by taking the humble role of a kirtan dasi.

The Healing Power of Kirtan

The Healing Power of Kirtan
by Anonymous

I’ve had many powerful Kirtan experiences each with a different awakening or lesson.

If you are present at these Kirtans, there can be so many shifts in your awareness.

But by far, the most awe inspiriting Kirtan, was with Deva Premal and Miten recently in New York City. They are wonderful artists and their music can be primal in a way.

During their Kirtan, we chanted a mantra on a mala 108 times.  I don’t know how nor when I arrived at my sacred spot but I was there feeling the light radiating down on me.  It was getting brighter and more expansive.  My whole being saturated with the light.

Then it happened,  a release of endorphins. A release of endorphins.  My whole body with tiny bubbles of endorphins bursting at different intervals.

Whoa, what?  Yes, little, tiny bubbles of endorphins bursting causing the tiniest shudders.

I relaxed into that moment and surrendered to my body healing itself.  It was an incredible and enlightening experience.

In writing this essay, and trying to describe it, I thought back to those moments.  I can put myself back into that space.

What made this Kirtan more powerful than any other was “that” experience.  So my mind CAN  truly facilitate my body’s healing.

Yes, we have been told that for years.  But I now have irrefutable proof and I now know or rather my body knows how to do it.

I feel grateful and blessed to have had that experience and pray that I may, one day, help facilitate someone else’s connection to their own healing.

NOTE:     
Although not mentioned above, it was through “Divine Grace”  that this experience was possible. Hari Om